23rd June 2021
Day 1 of fighting my relapse and getting my life back from bipolar.
Hello my wonderful followers of this blog. I want to document my journey from relapse to stable with my bipolar disorder. Because if it happens again, I can look back to these posts and remind myself that I came out of the darkness.
How am I feeling today? – I am feeling still numb and emotionless. I feel like I am stuck in a movie but I’m not actually living it. Life is just passing while I am stuck with this cloud over me. The funny thing is that I have racing thoughts and ideas yet I cannot concentrate to do any of it. I feel like I am going insane!
I woke up about 9am. Had my medication about 9:30am and had something to drink. It was hard getting out of bed but I got out. I managed to eat something too. I was worn out when I woke and had a depression nap after because the exhaustion is horrible. I had a shower and brushed my hair.
I am waiting for my nurse to ring me Friday.
I decided to go out for a little walk at 5pm and a trip to my local B&M. I only spent three pound which I am proud because I am very impulsive in spending past couple of weeks.
I made an agreement with my Nan about starting the gym on Monday instead of Friday. So, it can be a fresh start of the week. I have not drunk any alcohol or smoked since last Friday. Tomorrow I am going to make a weekly time table for the gym and fitness routines to try get back into my routine what made me better last time.
I got back home and had some water. I scrolled down on Tik Tok for like four hours then it was bed time. I had my meds. Its 12.35am and I am awake still because my head does not want to switch off. But I am still here.
Hopefully tomorrow is a better day.
Shannon Diana xx
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Shannon Diana xx